Singleness, Courtship and Marriage Through a Biblical Lens: Guard Your Heart by Nancy Wilson

Guard Your Heart (Nancy Wilson)

“Marriage is not an end in itself; it is a means of glorifying God.” ~ Nancy WIlson

This article is directed to unmarried women, whether young and in their fathers’ households, older and on their own, or widows who would like to remarry. The principle is that you must guard your heart so that it does not become entangled emotionally without the protection of a covenant. Many of these exhortations that follow may seem a trifle negative, but believe me, the results will be positive.

When a woman leaves her heart unguarded and becomes attached to the wrong man, she exposes herself to great hurt or harm. Many women, anxious to be married, respond to the first man who comes along and even allow themselves to become physically involved when they “know better.” It is easy to have convictions as long as you are not called upon to stand up for them, especially if you must stand up to a man you have allowed yourself to fall in love with. Never assume you are “strong” and can “handle” being alone with a man that you are attracted to. Remember, whoever he is, if he is not your husband, you have no business submitting to him in any area, especially if he wants you to engage in a little physical affection when there is no fence of covenantal protection around the relationship. Virginity is a priceless inheritance you bring into marriage.

You must guard your imagination if you want to guard your heart. Don’t feed a lonely heart with cheesy romance novels or chick flicks and fantasize about the men or the relationships described. This can quickly become lust—lusting to be lusted after. Don’t allow yourself to imagine someone is interested in you when he is just being friendly. Don’t imagine that he had a tender look when he said hello to you, when he was really just giving you a polite greeting. In other words, do not develop wild crushes. If the man in question shows an interest elsewhere, you will be hurt, and depending on how much you indulged your imagination, you may be devastated. Be realistic about the men who show you attention. If you are too eager for a relationship, you can imagine he is godlier, funnier, sweeter, smarter, older, or taller than he really is. If you have to talk yourself into someone, you are not being realistic about this man. Don’t get desperate! Don’t allow yourself to get involved in an inappropriate relationship because you are lonely. Don’t look for a man as a ticket out. You may want to move out or move on, but that is not a good reason to get married.

Just because a man shows an interest is no good reason to assume he is the one for you. There is no fire. Think about it. Get input from someone who knows you. Take your time. Don’t fling yourself in his arms as soon as he shows his hand. Women are sometimes in love with being in love, longing for a relationship more than they long to please God. Marriage is not an end in itself; it is a means of glorifying God. There is one thing worse than being single: being married to the wrong man.

Cultivating male group friendships is a healthy alternative to the world’s dating system, but we must not use these friendships to fill a void. Friendships can be sexually charged, and women are usually very ignorant about this. Friendships should not be intimate, but good-naturedly distant. Would you be able to maintain the friendship on an equal footing if you were married? If not, it is probably an inappropriate friendship. Women should have the kind of friendships with the brothers that are characterized by purity and propriety. If you have to alter your behavior after you are married, you have probably been behaving in an unwise or ungodly manner. This means you should not be spending one-on-one time with men (unless it is in the context of courtship), whether you are married or single. If you are going out for coffee and allowing men to pour out their troubles to you, this behavior will have to stop if you marry someone else. That tells me you should stop now.

Beware well-meaning friends. “He’s so good looking,” they say, but you know he is also so ungodly. Don’t encourage them by talking too much about your interests. Things have a funny way of getting back to the person. And if he isn’t interested, you will just feel foolish, and you may get hurt.

Finally, when in doubt, throw it out. Do not stay in a relationship that you have doubts about. It is very unwise to marry someone hoping for changes in him. If you have concerns about his godliness, his character, his theology, his relationship to his parents, his lifestyle, or anything else, back off, and maybe you should back out. Of course you have protection in the counsel and advice of your parents, but be careful not to marry someone simply to please your parents. Surely your parents have good intentions, but you must be honest with them about your hesitations. I cannot imagine parents (if they are loving and godly) pressuring a daughter to marry someone she did not want to marry!

Do cultivate a biblical view of marriage. Do cultivate godly group friendships. Women can learn a lot about how men think from being friends with men in groups. Do cultivate a godly character in yourself because marriage amplifies all you are. Look for likemindedness in a man: do you agree doctrinally? Are you similar culturally? Is he attractive to you? Be realistic, trust God, and be content.

(Italics mine. Original post http://www.credenda.org/old/issues/Vol11/Femina%2011-5.html)

What Forgiveness is Not – Mark Driscoll

To truly understand the principle of forgiveness, you must also have an understanding of what forgiveness is NOT. Pastor Mark Driscoll explains this better than any other I’ve heard.

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Do Not Forsake Your Mother’s Teaching

By John Piper
Original sermon preached on May 8, 1994

Proverbs 1:7-9

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching; indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head, and ornaments about your neck.

The book of Proverbs begins, “The proverbs of Solomon, son of David, king of Israel.” He was a great king and the son of a great king. That means he was famous and powerful and supreme in all the realm. People bowed in his presence. They did what he said. He had immense authority and honor.

Even Great Kings Should Bow to Their Mothers

How did he treat his mother in this exalted role? You recall his mother was Bathsheba. She had married his father David under very ugly circumstances—very displeasing to God. But she was his mother, and this is what it says in 1 Kings 2:19,

Bathsheba went to King Solomon to speak to him for Adonijah. And the king arose to meet her, bowed before her, and sat on his throne; then he had a throne set for the king’s mother, and she sat on his right.

Then they had their conversation. He rose for her. He bowed to her. And he called for a throne to be put beside his for their conversation. She was his mother. Even kings should stoop when their mothers enter the room.

Solomon was not a perfect king. He was not a perfect man. None of the writers of the Bible was. But God…

Read the rest of the article or listen to the MP3 HERE.

Free Speech Rights Under Fire – Harassment and Death Threats Against Prop 8 Supporters

Source: Mapping Political Persecution by Chuck Colson

Posted 2/24/2009
http://www.breakpoint.org/

Dotting the streets on a certain online map are hundreds of red teardrops. Click on a teardrop at a particular address, and come up with the words, “Patricia Greenwood. Insurance agent. $100.”

Miss Greenwood had better watch her back. Angry supporters of same-sex “marriage” are using Google Maps to tell the world exactly where she lives, and that she donated money to support Proposition 8—the California initiative banning same-sex “marriage.” Now, I made up the name Patricia Greenwood, but the names and addresses on this map belong to real people.

The only point of identifying Proposition 8 supporters is to encourage people to harass them. And the tactic is working.

Opponents of traditional marriage have sent threatening emails and vandalized churches. They have forced supporters out of their jobs and boycotted their businesses. They’ve made abusive telephone calls and even threatened their neighbors with death. Hundreds of cases of harassment have been documented.

Ron Prentice, chairman of the pro-Proposition 8 group ProtectMarriage.com, says the message of the maps “is unmistakable: Support traditional marriage, and we will find you.”

This is unbelievable in a democracy. In fact, domestic terrorism is not too strong a word to use for what’s occurring in California—and it’s a reminder of what happened when citizens allowed similar tactics to go unchallenged in another time and place.

Seventy-odd years ago, Adolf Hitler turned loose his brown shirts on Germany. These vicious young thugs went street by street, seeking out Jews and communists and trade union leaders. They beat them up and destroyed their places of business. In this way, Germany, a strong country, was taken over by an evil man and regime.

How much easier the brown shirts’ job would have been with a Google map! If vigilante-type movements are allowed to bully their opponents, we’re not just talking about suppression of religious freedom. We’re talking about the undermining of the very character of democracy. Political zealots of every stripe will learn that if they cannot persuade their fellow citizens by reason, they can “persuade” us another way—with clubs, scorn, and social ostracism.

It could get to the point where people will be afraid to get involved in politics at all—and if that happens, it will sound the death knell of representative liberal democracy. This is precisely why laws were passed giving Americans the right to a secret ballot.

ProtectMarriage.com and the Alliance Defense Fund have gone to court to protect the privacy and free speech of those who contribute to future campaigns—and to protect them from harassment. They are challenging state campaign finance laws that force disclosure of personal information of those who donate even small amounts of money to political campaigns.

Campaign disclosure laws must balance the public’s right, of course, to know who is donating money to political campaigns with an individual’s right to privacy, freedom of expression, and the freedom not to be threatened for their beliefs.

And we need vigorous law enforcement. If we prosecute hate crimes, why shouldn’t federal and state prosecutors go after those thugs who are abusing innocent people for exercising their right to vote?

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Now a syndicated columnist, Charles Colson was once labeled a “hatchet man” during his tenure under former President Nixon and was feared in Washington and elsewhere by many in politics. Now as a repentant and devout Christian, Colson preaches a message of reconciliation to “the least of these” – prisoners and their families as well as crime victims and their families all over the world. PFM (formerly Prison Fellowship Ministries) was founded by Colson in 1976 and continues to minister to millions worldwide today.

(Video) Obama Blocked a BAIPA Bill in the Illinois State Senate – 4 times!!! How Will YOU Vote on Nov. 4th??

You Tube URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suTvLe7kYDE

Senator Barack Obama voted to block a BAIPA bill – Born Alive Infant Protection Act – in the Illinois Senate… 4 times. Is this the kind of man we want sitting in the Oval Office? Or do we want someone sitting there who will affirm life? You decide this Nov. 4th… with your vote. Don’t stay home and essentially vote present… cast an early ballot, or go to the polling place on election day.

Please repost this video on your personal blogs, and send it to your friends and family via email. Be sure to go to the You Tube page and rate it and feel free to leave a comment…

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.” Prov 31:8 NIV

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Related posts:
Massacre of Innocence

True Colors – The Blatant Arrogance of Eugenics

The Quick and the Dead

Family Friendly Online Bookstore Holds First Kids’ Choice Book Awards

ABUNGA.COM CALLS KIDS TO THE VOTING POLLS:
Online Bookstore Holds First Kids’ Choice Book Awards

Press Release

KNOXVILLE, Tenn., July 8, 2008 – Abunga.com, the family-friendly online bookstore, is hosting their first Abunga.com Kids’ Choice Book Awards. Now through Sept. 1, children pre-kindergarten through 12th grade can log onto Abunga.com/kidschoice and nominate their favorite summer reading book.
“Abunga.com wants to encourage children of all ages to dive into a few good books this summer,” said Abunga.com Chairman Lee Martin. “With families cutting down on summer travel due to the rising cost of gas and food, reading offers children the opportunity to journey to another time and place and experience the many adventures of a book.”

Nominations for the 2008 Abunga.com Kids’ Choice Book Awards will be accepted in the categories of grades pre-kindergarten through first, second through third, fourth through fifth, sixth through eighth and ninth through 12th. All children who log onto Abunga.com with their parent’s permission and provide a nomination and parent’s contact e-mail address will be eligible for a $20 Abunga.com gift card. One gift card will be awarded in each category. Printable summer reading bookmarks that include a place for children to write down their favorite books will also be available at the site.
The winning books and authors will be announced Sept. 15. Winning authors will receive a feature spot on the Abunga.com home page from Sept. 15 through Oct. 15 and will be listed on the Abunga.com Kids’ Choice Awards Web page for one full year until the 2009 awards. Children awarded Abunga.com gift cards will also be recognized by first name on the Abunga.com Kids’ Choice Awards Web page.

“We are eager to see the variety of books that so many young readers will take the initiative to nominate,” Martin said. “Summer reading helps kids stay at the top of their academic game when school is out, and we hope this award adds a little extra incentive to discover a good book.”

Abunga.com is an online bookstore founded to provide families a protected shopping environment. Headquartered in Knoxville, Tenn., Abunga.com offers more than 1.6 million family-friendly books, savings through distributor-direct prices and support to nonprofit organizations by donating 5 percent of each transaction to a customer-selected charity. For more information, visit http://www.Abunga.com or read the blog about this here:

Book Awards Poll PLUS a $20 gift certificate for the kids.

Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman on Faith and Their Daughter’s Tragic Death

If you missed the Robin Roberts of Good Morning America sensitive interview with Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman on Good Morning America (Aug 6, 2008), you can still see their converstation about the death of their daughter and how it effected their faith here.

There is also a very moving article by Janice Johnston and Emily Yacus on the ABC website. The article also contains the complete video interview.

Please continue to pray for the Chapman family.

Spurgeon’s Devotional – Teach Your Children Well (A case for the spiritual instruction of the gospel to their children by the parents)

Joel 1:3
Tell ye your children of it, and let your children tell their children, and their children another generation.

In this simple way, by God’s grace, a living testimony for truth is always to be kept alive in the land-the beloved of the Lord are to hand down their witness for the gospel, and the covenant to their heirs, and these again to their next descendants. This is our first duty, we are to begin at the family hearth: he is a bad preacher who does not commence his ministry at home. The heathen are to be sought by all means, and the highways and hedges are to be searched, but home has a prior claim, and woe unto those who reverse the order of the Lord’s arrangements. To teach our children is a personal duty; we cannot delegate it to Sunday School Teachers, or other friendly aids, these can assist us, but cannot deliver us from the sacred obligation; proxies and sponsors are wicked devices in this case: mothers and fathers must, like Abraham, command their households in the fear of God, and talk with their offspring concerning the wondrous works of the Most High. Parental teaching is a natural duty-who so fit to look to the child’s well-being as those who are the authors of his actual being? To neglect the instruction of our offspring is worse than brutish. Family religion is necessary for the nation, for the family itself, and for the church of God. By a thousand plots Popery is covertly advancing in our land, and one of the most effectual means for resisting its inroads is left almost neglected, namely, the instruction of children in the faith. Would that parents would awaken to a sense of the importance of this matter. It is a pleasant duty to talk of Jesus to our sons and daughters, and the more so because it has often proved to be an accepted work, for God has saved the children through the parents’ prayers and admonitions. May every house into which this volume shall come honour the Lord and receive His smile.

From Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening Devotional. You can get your own copy at

ALERT: Barnes and Nobel Allows Porn to be Accessible To Minors in Violation of State Law

Recently a local (TN) minister took his 11 year old son to Barnes and Nobel to pick up some DVDs that he had ordered, and while he was there they both encountered a full color, opened coffee table book that contained something that NO 11 year old boy (or anyone else for that matter) should be allowed to display in a store that is frequented by minors.

We MUST speak out against this idiocy and protect our children from the slow indoctrination in sexual perversion. Let us join with others who care about maintaining a family friendly environment for ourselves and our children in holding Barnes and Nobel (and other businesses) accountable for their actions.

I will no longer shop at Barnes and Nobel until their policies change (and perhaps until they quit allowing their buyers to purchase these types of products for their company.)

Please go here to find out more and please be advised that this information is NOT SUITABLE for children:

Article:
Eleven Year Old Exposed To Gay Porn At Barnes and Noble and They Knew This Sort of Thing Was Happening

Here’s the radio show archive:
Worldview Matters with Brannon Howse: June 9, 2008

Here is the TN state law:

39-17-911. Sale, loan or exhibition of material to minors. —

(a) It is unlawful for any person to knowingly sell or loan for monetary consideration or otherwise exhibit or make available to a minor:

(1) Any picture, photograph, drawing, sculpture, motion picture film, video game, computer software game, or similar visual representation or image of a person or portion of the human body, that depicts nudity, sexual conduct, excess violence, or sado-masochistic abuse, and that is harmful to minors; or

(2) Any book, pamphlet, magazine, printed matter, however reproduced, or sound recording, which contains any matter enumerated in subdivision (a)(1), or that contains explicit and detailed verbal descriptions or narrative accounts of sexual excitement, sexual conduct, excess violence, or sado-masochistic abuse, and that is harmful to minors.

(b) It is unlawful for any person to knowingly exhibit to a minor for monetary consideration, or to knowingly sell to a minor an admission ticket or pass or otherwise admit a minor to premises whereon there is exhibited a motion picture, show or other presentation which, in whole or in part, depicts nudity, sexual conduct, excess violence, or sado-masochistic abuse, and which is harmful to minors.

(c) A violation of this section is a Class A misdemeanor.

(d) It is an affirmative defense to prosecution under this section that the minor to whom the material or show was made available or exhibited was, at the time, accompanied by the person’s parent or legal guardian, or by an adult with the written permission of the parent or legal guardian.

[Acts 1989, ch. 591, § 1; 2000, ch. 763, § 1.]

So – If, after seeing the issue at hand regarding this incident, you wish to stand in the gap over this very critical issue, please go here to sign the petition and stop shopping there until they change their tune.

PETITION BARNES AND NOBEL LINK.
Thank you for your consideration in this vital matter. Please share this with your friends and church family.